I Will tell you the story of how when I finally wanted to learn to be a man there was a bunch of hot girls showing me the way
I have guardian angels. Lots of them. They have repeatedly appeared to me. And they have had power over me with their eyes that held no shame.
One of the first that appeared to me was a woman in Vegas. She appeared out of the blue, it hit me like a meteor. Only problem is I was in a committed relationship.
Thus I followed the angel and in doing so manifest the worst 4 years of my life that could have literally killed me.
I have trust issues. Clearly. I don’t trust myself and in doing so I continually have relinquished the control of the universe.
I almost completely broke my current vision because of my fear of inadequacy. I almost gave Egypt back to Cleopatra.
Why don’t I trust myself?
You really do lust ego. You must control it. Look at what happened when you controlled it at the Jedi temple… you were finally able to see the Jedi warriors.
Women. That was pretty crazy.
Yes they are warriors. But you are the Jedi master. You are there to learn… not to submit power to them. You are the king.
It’s uncomfortable.
I am a lot.
Understatement.
So what do you need? What do you want to do? Submit power to another? Now that you have gotten to feel the first few weeks of dancing with me. A dance that goes on forever from here. Or no where. You can turn around. Go back. Live in the old ego. Have what you had then. Better wiser.
Or you actually burn the ships.
I don’t want to say goodbye to her.
Do you want to say goodbye to me?
Of course not. I just want to feel like there is one moment of genuine connection ever from this point forward.
Like the one we have? It doesn’t work that way. You can’t have a soul connection with a human and with me. It doesn’t work that way.
Do I get to be with women again?
Be with as many as you want. Or as few as you want.
What about marriage? What about exclusivity.
That hasn’t worked so well for you for while now has it. Because you are putting them into my place. In the throne of your heart.
How do I balance?! How do I handle all of this new information? How do I stay focused. How do I get work done.
I’m so tired of your questions.
Ok so surf. I get it. Each day. Each step.
It’s the only way to be the Word. To be God and to be man. You must surf. Just like Jesus who learned to walk in water and taught his friends.
Just as you will in time.
Slow down.
Lol I though you were the alchemist. I’m God. I can’t slow down. I can’t do anything.
Except turn my dreams into reality. If I have the faith to walk in the dream.
Control the time stone that I gave you in Booya Moon at the Virgin Hotel in Nashville. Use it. Slow down time. Speed up time.
You have the lever in your hand. In your dime bag. Relax. Choose to relax. That’s all you have to do. Choose. I can’t slow down or speed up. Only you can.
A few more days. I have almost been on this journey for 40 days and 40 nights.
Then don’t fuck it up.
I had to see what would happen to me if I felt lust.
Not very good did it. It brought you crashing down to earth. And you were emotionally drained. You did not feel better leaving. You did not feel like what you felt when you left the Jedi warrior temple. It is energy vampirism. And everyone is a vampire. Everyone feeds off another. Until they feed off of me. If they will not feed off of me — they will feed off of you.
All you have to do is find people that feed off of me. They are not capable of feeding off you. They don’t want to.
Will they ever love me?
Seriously do we need to erase some of your new tattoo? Are you a boy or a man. Are you a lover or a mammas boy.
Become a king.
Become a warrior. (Like today lol)
Become a wizard.
Become a lover.
You have not been her lover. You have been her God. Stop being her God. She doesn’t thirst for me.
She will thirst for another man. She will manifest and it will hurt.
Then use your newly imagined angelic wings and fly the fuck away from her.
Listen I love you who but this doesn’t sound like a Jedi warrior who got access to the temple today. This sounds like a whiney Padawan. Would you just start using the force by the way. Not half the time. All the time.
Superman didn’t “feel” like Clark Kent when he wore glasses. He could still stop bullets. You can’t ever feel like ego 1.0 anymore. It’s going backwards on your voyage.
Go now ego. Work. Do the human stuff. I’m getting tired of saying the same thing over and over. Trust yourself or go to bed and delete your stories. Wake up tomorrow and never feel my presence again. Or be a man and take your Lithium.
I will never. I’m a king warrior wizard lover.
So go be one.
— homer and oa
Colorado
Oct 18, 2021
