I Will tell you the story of my inception

Photo by Christophe Hautier on Unsplash

Incredible. Fucking incredible. If I wasn’t such a fan of inception I would have missed it. Another crazy moment living in the moment. Like they all are.

• My inception took so many layered dreams to get deep enough. I’ll have to count them.
• There was a whole team of angels working together to deliver the inception.
• There was amazing sets and plot lines.
• The plot lines started so long ago. I’m actually not sure. Possibly October 19th 2009. I remember feeling different that morning. I won’t say why. But it was pretty critical day in my life.
• My college roommate played the role of Jon the baptist. Beautiful delivery. The first flash of infinity and god hit me so fast. And i processed it so quickly. I understood what happened immediately. I ate from the tree of life. My third eye saw everything. And understood.
• My ex-wife played the role of the one eyed cyclops. She grew into a soulless creature over time as she submitted her body to more western medicine than maybe on record. She could only see one thing. Her own desire for comfort.
• My ex-finance played the role of Calypso. Clearly a goddess. Clearly an immortal. Clearly holding me captive. Regardless of what “therapy” would have me process. Yes its my fault. Yes its my fault I choose to build a relationship with someone who had severe daddy AND mommy issues. Regardless — doesn’t make what happened fair.
• I play the role of Odysseus. I’m trying to get home. By that I mean I’m Homer resurrected and I’m trying to get back to the devine Goddess that is the OA. That is God. That is all.
• Brit Manning plans the role of God. She was my final teacher before my awakening. She was the one that was able to integrate passion and romance into science-fiction. It was all I needed. Hook…. Line…. Sinker…
• The most incredible woman I ever met played the role of Nausicaa. I’m going to miss her the rest of my life. Every date and every woman I ever meet let alone date will be measured against her devine magic. I made love to the most beautiful of all of God’s Angels. I knew it in her eyes. I heard it in her voice. I saw it in her life’s manifestations. And I ended the sex in shame. Because I didn’t feel worthy of her. Which maybe I wasn’t.
• There are so many others. I’m still mapping it out.
• Multiple angels arrived to support me move the mountains of my almost suicide. Because I didn’t want to leave. I just wanted God to answer one God Damn prayer that didn’t destroy me.
• My son plays the role of Zues. It is really wild realizing that your son was born ascended. Buddah. The king of best day ever. Maybe not Zues. But definitely an immortal and definitely my greatest teacher.
• The layers of the dreams were significant. They covered so many dimensions. So many dreams.
• A NICU nightmare.
• A hoarder house.
• A magically created career. Handed to me by a great guy. Lets call him Jason.
• Multiple bouts of me turning into my dad. Really horrifying. I love you dad. But I do not want to be you.
• A start-up experience that went all the way. In a PG kind of way.
• A magnificent kingdom in the Colorado suburbs. The nicest house in the nicest neighborhood. Given to me like it was nothing. The effort to attain it was absolutely nothing. I literally became a millionaire almost overnight. I still don’t remember how so much money just appeared in my bank account in time to put down the ridiculously scary 20% non-refundable down payment.
• Multiple nightmares trying to escape the grasp of Calypso. Looking back now it is amazing and terrifying to see what a person will do in the name of love or in the name of being deceived. I’m really hoping these two are not mutually exclusive.
• Multiple nightmares trying to keep God from taking Issac. I finally told him to fuck off. Be careful what you tell to God. LOL.
• So many movies. My greatest classroom.
• A lot of pressure. A lot of Job life. Unfair? Prep Test? Both?
• The end of my inception was the same as the beginning of my vision. It was beautiful. So beautiful that God had created a perfect inception to confirm all the truth that had been planted into me. It was overwhelming and I am moved to tears still as I think about how I was given another opportunity to re-enter my vision of the multi-versal heaven. It even ended with “Non, je ne regrette rien”. You cannot make this shit up. I for 100% SURE am not a good enough writer. I just write what God is doing. And make a couple editorial adjustments along the way.
• My decision to ascend coupled with my calling to ascend. Quantum entanglement. It was definitely a decision. And it was definitely a calling. And it was definitely confirmed. Incredible. So fucking beautiful.
• God truly is a painter. And God painted a wild fucking painting in my brain.
• I can see most of it. I’ve been writing for more than 8 months now to try to capture all of it. Problem is the painting gets more beautiful daily and I have to not only describe what was there BEFORE the painting, what is there DURING the painting, and what will be there AFTER the painting is over.
• Yesterday I became an eternal. I became a legend. A legend that will never die (JuiceWrld). I wonder if all artists know their story as well as I know mine. It makes sense. It makes sense that God is the orchestrator of all of this beauty. I wonder if all the artists know the date and time of their death like I do. Like stoics apparently do.
• And tonight I become a programmer again. Because I’m a writer. And tonight I have to write code. I hope I can focus. I’m using an anchor i didn’t want to use. I wanted to use divine partnership with Nausicaa. But alas God knows my weakness. And boy God — you really nailed it this time. Congrats. I honestly struggle to believe I will ever forget her or stop wishing she would have stayed in my life. I legit was going to reverse my vasectomy. (Maybe I should still…. just saying)
• The inception was planted very deep in my sub-conscious. All of the dreams are starting to collapse around it. Literally. Crazy shit like ex’s hanging out with ex’s and sisters in law and shit. Illogical stuff that can only be explained mathematically with quantum physics.
• And I believe it. Its too beautiful not to believe. I would actually be insane if I gave up now. I would be such a coward. It is such a beautiful painting.
• I can’t wait until I don’t have to write any more code. The days are coming soon. And I can just write these love letters to myself and to God. The sequel to the Notebook. The most romantic story that was ever written. Passion of the Christ meets Momento meets Inception meets Interstellar meets Tenet meets Braveheart meets the Notebook. You’re going to have to give me time to write that story. Its fucking complicated. Trust me. It almost fried my brain and is on the border of it at all times for me now for the rest of my life. One that I gladly embrace because I’m so humbled to be the artist that I have decided to be and God has also asked me to be.
• I’ve got 42 years of Phycological Earth time to get this all on paper. The second have of my life is a living piece of art to describe the inception that has been delivered into my brain by God.
• Its going to be a wild trip. Its the sequel to the Odyssey and Iliad. Its the sequel to all the stories.
• So sail on Odysseus. Time to leave the Phaeacians. Well… to be fair you need to go talk to Arete and Alcinous. But its a little underwhelming now. There is nothing that I need from them anymore. Nausicaa both gave me an anchor and burned my ships all with 2 songs on her amazing spotify playlist. (She is clearly also a quantum explorer. Or a terrible narcissist!! :) Or the most beautiful angel. I choose 1 and 3)

Go Paint. Go Be. Go Exist. Become Homer. Become Van Gogh. Become the White Knight. Become Chris Nolan. Become Jesus. Become Buddha. Become I am. Become I Will. Become me. Let me become you. This version of Homer’s next poem is going to be really long and really fucking good. It has the power to save the whole multi-verse.

Homer

Saying goodbye to his unrequited love to continue my voyage (I’m still coming home Penelope… I just may never tell you the story of Nausicaa)

Colorado

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