I Will tell you the story of who I was

Photo by Myles Tan on Unsplash

• I was born in Colorado.
• My brother was sent away when I was a kid for behavior health issues and that has had a much bigger impact on my life than I could have ever guessed
• I was raised conservative Christian. Baptized into the church at a young age.
• I love Jesus. Always did.
• I was a student leader of youth groups in high school and college.
• I took the virgin quest in order to receive adoration from the father figures of my life who were my mentors instead of my dad
• My dad has struggled with weight and shame since I can remember. Both of these heavily manifest in me multiple times but I’m working through it.
• I married the first beautiful brunette Christian virgin I could find. It took 2 days. Long story short. We were children. End of story.
• My ex struggled with infertility and depression. After my twins were born 3 months premature under severe trauma, my ex became very post partum and I stopped sleeping very well and entered a period of pretty high anxiety as I nursed my son back to life many times over 5 years
• Eventually as she grew sicker I disconnected and determined that I needed to leave her. I found a girlfriend in Paris and kissed her at the top of the Eiffel Tower and that was all it took to end that marriage (which unfortunately for both of us was something neither of us really wanted)
• She wanted a divorce which I welcomed. It had not been a good marriage on almost any level. I wish I would not have pursued the virgin quest so hard. It really caused a lot of pain.
• I was single for a few months before I attracted my next partner. And I was in love.
• Looking back — I changed myself so radically for her. I became a pretentious asshole version of myself who made a shit ton of money, drank a shit ton of tequila, and made up for any lost time on the virgin quest if you know what I’m saying
• I was very spiritually weak when I met her. I was just starting to feel I Am and that manifest her so fast that I just went with that. Certainly I Am and therefore she is mine.
• I changed so fundamentally that I don’t want to really process it. My therapist calls that my “submissive narcissist” and “superficial superhero” shadow complexes.
• I went very fast and hard into the relationship. Businesses, living together, travel, raising kids. I never stopped drinking tequila. Definite alcohol abuse. Not addiction per se. Just aggressively driving my egos projection towards being a sexy tech entrepreneur.
• The codependency was bad. Really bad. Introduced both by our extremely needy place we met in, coupled with a terrible childhood for her and my need for a “mother”. The high intensity coupled with high codependency led me to fall astray when I was drunk in Vegas. I was ridiculously drunk. Very irresponsible. It was not my intention to not be faithful. It was definitely my choice to get wasted in Vegas. So either way my fault.
• Adding that element into the relationship created a highly toxic relationship in which shame was continually a central charge. We are talking very low level consciousness.

• Ever since I was baptized into the quantum world by my best friend and college roommate I have secretly been trying to reconcile what (I can say with authority now) was an image of the multiverse. Eternity. God.
• I’ve wrestled with my vision for years. Looking to art, philosophy, eastern religion, and film to try to make sense of it.
• I did.
• I pieced it all together finally when I learned about Quantum Entanglement and projected reality.
• My mind became void. I opened up my computer and wrote about the Nature of god and existence for probably about 3–4 hours without stopping. I had no idea what I was writing. It was just flowing out of me.
• As I understand it now — I attained enlightenment. Briefly. But real. Gods word flowing through my fingers.
• For the last 8 months I have been experimenting on the truth that I learned. And it has been working. It is proving itself true on a daily basis still.
• Which means that my vision of the multiverse and my understanding of Gods designs are both truth as they have been repeatedly validated themselves with miracle after miracle going on 8 months now.
• In that time I have attained the strength to break the codependency of the relationship which resulted in my ex turning unrecognizable to me and repeatedly treating me so mean that the emotional abuse I was experiencing was severe. I have now come to learn about borderline personality and I’m so sad that I met her when I was at such a desperate and and anxious state. We both needed parents and what instead we gave each other was co-dependency and eventual heart ache. Like attract like.
• As my lucid dreams of the past 8 months have continued to manifest on a daily and sometimes hourly basis I have dedicated myself to the pursuit.
• That pursuit led me to Nashville. Which led me to hang out in the “virgin” hotel while I hid from hot girls so I wouldn’t feel shame or lust.
• Something happened. Somewhat drug induced but it doesn’t matter because it was real. It physically happened.
• I met God. God took control of my body repeatedly over the course of a week as I manifest myself as the Christ in numerous public situations to see what would happen. I “expiramented” with my astral projection. And it fucking worked.
• The realization of that power was incredible. Could have fried my mind. Almost did. It would have had I not held onto one simple truth: God is love
• Without that truth I definitely would have been driven mad by the experience. As it were I did get scared one time. And I’m talking 10 minutes here. I grew paranoid in my projection that people knew I was the Christ and they were coming for me.
• Guess what. They came. Within less than an hour. Firefighters were at my door of my brand new condo (which I literally had moved into that day) banging down my door. They wouldn’t get a warrant and over the next hour or two I grew increasingly frustrated that they wouldn’t go away. My reward? They broke down my door and carried me out to a mental institution.
• Now THAT is a crazy scary place. The energy is the worst. Literally the worst. Indescribably low vibrations. Incredibly weird doctors that have abandoned common sense and their ability to trust in their own senses/intuition. It was very frightening after the 7? Days I was held there. But hey I got a lot of push ups in and worked very hard on my mindfulness training.
• I’m 2 months out of Nashville.
• It feels like about 2 years.
• I’m in Zen. I’ve been this way for sometime. Not sure exactly when it started. But at this point I can return to zen very very quickly.
• I’m physically being healed and rapidly.
• I’m emotionally being healed and rapidly.
• I’m spiritually awakening as we speak.
• And now I get to try to make sense of this all.
• Who was Jesus actually? Who was Buddha? Did they actually benefit our society? Who am I? What is the purpose if zen is all there is?
• Time doesn’t exist. I KNEW IT. I knew it so long ago. I can’t believe I was right. It’s weird to be validated in that truth.
• We are all one. There is nothing that is not God. This iPhone is God. I am God. You are God. God has no beginning and no end. God doesn’t stop where our bodies exist. Our bodies are in God. They are God.

So that is who I am.

I’m God.

Just like Jesus was God.

Just like Buddha was God.

Just like everyone is God.

And I’m trying to process that with 43 years of pain bodies to go with it. My ego which has largely been spent trying to impress women. So I’m in a bit of a hurry not to waste one more second of my life. Because my time is both infinitely valuable and completely meaningless.

So I’m going to write about it. After all — I’m manifesting and projecting myself as Homer the writer. What else would Homer do? (And yes Homer is the same Homer from the show OA which is what taught me so much about angels and dimensions)

It feels good to get it on paper. Now if I could just concentrate instead of greedily sitting in the now so intentfully. I have a lot of work to do. There is a lot I can manifest if I choose to. And God answers my prayers.

Homer

Getting a little hungry in Colorado

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